1
00:00:00,772 --> 00:00:02,315
??

2
00:00:02,398 --> 00:00:04,776
Susan: I don't know
how much clearer we can be.

3
00:00:04,777 --> 00:00:07,277
The Party doesn't care
about you kicking Mothman

4
00:00:07,278 --> 00:00:08,658
into high-voltage fencing.

5
00:00:08,659 --> 00:00:10,280
Where's our
infrastructure bill?

6
00:00:10,281 --> 00:00:11,865
Where's our
Supreme Court stacking?

7
00:00:11,866 --> 00:00:14,994
Susan, come on,
it's my job to eliminate fear.

8
00:00:14,995 --> 00:00:16,495
That piece of shit's
been flying around,

9
00:00:16,496 --> 00:00:18,497
mothballing cheerleaders
for decades.

10
00:00:18,498 --> 00:00:20,666
Andre, I know you don't think
you work for The Party,

11
00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:23,545
but we sure as fuck
don't work for you.

12
00:00:23,628 --> 00:00:26,172
Your job is to support
our interests.

13
00:00:26,214 --> 00:00:27,507
[ Sighs ] Bye, Andre.

14
00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,175
Yeah okay, bye.

15
00:00:29,176 --> 00:00:30,926
Tony, set a meeting
with The Party -

16
00:00:30,927 --> 00:00:33,220
I'm starting to think
we shouldn't support Curtis

17
00:00:33,221 --> 00:00:34,639
for re-election.

18
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:36,390
Party Leader: Totally.
He's a fluke one-termer.

19
00:00:36,391 --> 00:00:37,683
[ Chair squeaks ]
Did you hear that?

20
00:00:37,684 --> 00:00:39,374
You think he's still
on the call?

21
00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:41,353
Quietly listening
as insecurity sets in?

22
00:00:41,354 --> 00:00:42,980
Ugh.
Banks: Well, that went well.

23
00:00:42,981 --> 00:00:45,315
Oh, my god, this is why
I waved you out of the office.

24
00:00:45,316 --> 00:00:47,109
Sir, why didn't you
tell me about that call?

25
00:00:47,110 --> 00:00:48,652
It's my job to help
with Party drama.

26
00:00:48,653 --> 00:00:50,362
You think I give a shit
about The Party?

27
00:00:50,363 --> 00:00:52,281
When you need to know something,
you'll know.

28
00:00:52,282 --> 00:00:54,152
Like now.
You should know I gotta piss.

29
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,369
[ Pee trickling,
toilet flushes ]

30
00:00:56,411 --> 00:00:58,705
? Mm, he's part robot,
he's part cop ?

31
00:00:58,746 --> 00:01:01,541
Mysterious woman:
Come see me.

32
00:01:01,624 --> 00:01:02,709
Hello?

33
00:01:04,543 --> 00:01:06,671
? Detroit streets
are safe as hell ?

34
00:01:06,713 --> 00:01:07,839
Are you afraid?

35
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,257
You're weak.

36
00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:11,718
You have a little dick
and balls.

37
00:01:12,885 --> 00:01:14,387
Shit.

38
00:01:14,388 --> 00:01:16,972
I'm just saying -
Seriously, Banks?

39
00:01:16,973 --> 00:01:19,349
Outside the bathroom?
Well you walked away before.

40
00:01:19,350 --> 00:01:21,393
Gather the staff.
We're going to Camp David.

41
00:01:21,394 --> 00:01:23,855
Camp David?
You're taking a vacation now?

42
00:01:23,896 --> 00:01:25,940
We leave in twenty.
Ugh.

43
00:01:25,941 --> 00:01:28,400
Don't ever stand around
waiting for him, okay?

44
00:01:28,401 --> 00:01:30,737
That's my thing.
How long were you behind me?

45
00:01:30,820 --> 00:01:33,865
If you're asking if I heard
you fart, the answer is yes.

46
00:01:34,907 --> 00:01:38,244
Are you trying to fart again,
what is wrong with you?

47
00:01:38,286 --> 00:01:44,792
??

48
00:01:44,875 --> 00:01:51,173
??

49
00:01:51,256 --> 00:01:57,764
??

50
00:01:57,804 --> 00:02:04,437
??

51
00:02:06,606 --> 00:02:09,191
"She can't touch you."
Yeah no shit, Truman.

52
00:02:09,192 --> 00:02:10,817
"Always jerk off
before you go,"

53
00:02:10,818 --> 00:02:12,235
how is that advice, Clinton?

54
00:02:12,236 --> 00:02:13,404
Useless.

55
00:02:13,446 --> 00:02:15,198
Should I read that too?

56
00:02:15,281 --> 00:02:16,783
Oh, are you a President?

57
00:02:16,784 --> 00:02:18,617
Because it's a book passed
down between Presidents.

58
00:02:18,618 --> 00:02:20,369
What are you, five?
Just tell me what's going on.

59
00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:22,621
When summoned to Camp David,
a President must undergo

60
00:02:22,622 --> 00:02:24,373
a test of mental will
at the hands of

61
00:02:24,374 --> 00:02:26,124
an ancient witch named "David".

62
00:02:26,125 --> 00:02:28,377
We're coming here
to mind duel with a witch?

63
00:02:28,378 --> 00:02:29,962
Not us, him.

64
00:02:30,004 --> 00:02:31,964
Alone, again.

65
00:02:32,006 --> 00:02:33,257
Solitarily.

66
00:02:33,258 --> 00:02:34,549
Oh, my god, guys,
it's nothing.

67
00:02:34,550 --> 00:02:35,718
She can't even touch me.

68
00:02:35,719 --> 00:02:37,386
I just have to
make it to sunrise

69
00:02:37,387 --> 00:02:38,929
without surrendering
my kingdom.

70
00:02:38,930 --> 00:02:40,473
Uhh...
She's ancient.

71
00:02:40,474 --> 00:02:42,224
The terminology
hasn't aged well.

72
00:02:42,225 --> 00:02:44,018
Driver: Sir?
[ Car squeals ]

73
00:02:44,102 --> 00:02:45,228
We're here.

74
00:02:45,311 --> 00:02:46,646
[ Curtis Grunts ]

75
00:02:46,647 --> 00:02:48,522
I thought it was a
test of mental will,

76
00:02:48,523 --> 00:02:50,482
why am I staring
at his bare ass? Part of the ritual.

77
00:02:50,483 --> 00:02:52,359
Apparently the pact
was made by Roosevelt,

78
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:53,944
the wheelchair one
not the mustache one.

79
00:02:53,945 --> 00:02:56,614
If you pass the test,
she remains tethered here.

80
00:02:56,656 --> 00:02:58,533
Hey.
You think he's gonna fire me?

81
00:02:58,616 --> 00:03:00,410
What?
Curtis. I dunno...

82
00:03:00,411 --> 00:03:02,202
Feels like he's not
telling me things on purpose.

83
00:03:02,203 --> 00:03:04,080
His job isn't to tell you shit.

84
00:03:04,081 --> 00:03:05,539
I've asked a lot about the witch

85
00:03:05,540 --> 00:03:06,998
and all he's told me
is she's basically

86
00:03:06,999 --> 00:03:08,418
like a sexy roast comic.

87
00:03:08,459 --> 00:03:11,003
Nothing to fear.
See you nerds after sunrise.

88
00:03:11,045 --> 00:03:12,213
So that's it?

89
00:03:12,296 --> 00:03:14,046
He just peaces out
until morning?

90
00:03:14,090 --> 00:03:16,300
What do we do?
We go to Camp.

91
00:03:16,342 --> 00:03:23,099
??

92
00:03:23,182 --> 00:03:25,852
? Wolf is howlin, my guy ?

93
00:03:26,686 --> 00:03:29,188
Campers: ? Kum bay ya ?

94
00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:30,280
Wow.

95
00:03:30,281 --> 00:03:31,398
I've never felt such an urge

96
00:03:31,399 --> 00:03:32,232
to give someone a swirly.

97
00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:33,693
Good luck.

98
00:03:33,694 --> 00:03:35,360
All the toilets here
are eco-friendly since Obama.

99
00:03:35,361 --> 00:03:36,987
Ugh, here come The Lifers.

100
00:03:36,988 --> 00:03:38,071
"The Lifers"?

101
00:03:38,072 --> 00:03:39,490
Yeah, White House staffers

102
00:03:39,491 --> 00:03:41,199
who have worked for
multiple administrations.

103
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,284
You don't wanna
hang with them,

104
00:03:42,285 --> 00:03:43,828
they hate presidents.

105
00:03:43,829 --> 00:03:45,620
What? That's insane,
we work with Janice every day.

106
00:03:45,621 --> 00:03:46,831
Just trust me on this one.

107
00:03:46,832 --> 00:03:48,373
They're loyal
to the White House,

108
00:03:48,374 --> 00:03:49,542
we're loyal to Curtis.

109
00:03:49,624 --> 00:03:50,918
It's oil and waddles.

110
00:03:50,919 --> 00:03:52,753
You mean "water"?
Whatever, college.

111
00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:54,379
I'm gonna go sign up
for the canoes

112
00:03:54,380 --> 00:03:56,089
before Chomps bogarts
all the good shit.

113
00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:57,383
[ Laughter ]

114
00:03:57,425 --> 00:03:58,885
Hey what's up, guys.

115
00:03:58,968 --> 00:04:00,303
Janice, Chef Matteo,

116
00:04:00,304 --> 00:04:02,345
Michael in accounting,
Chief Usher Cherri.

117
00:04:02,346 --> 00:04:04,276
Love the jacket.
What are those stars?

118
00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:05,849
[ Scoffs ]
And an ice cream cone?

119
00:04:05,850 --> 00:04:07,059
Watch out guys,

120
00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:08,518
the new Temp's trying
to make small talk.

121
00:04:08,519 --> 00:04:10,229
Temp.
Dead Temp Walking.

122
00:04:10,271 --> 00:04:12,501
Okay you clearly know my name,
I'm your boss.

123
00:04:12,565 --> 00:04:13,775
Yeah, for now.

124
00:04:13,776 --> 00:04:15,400
Look at those pictures.
Look at 'em.

125
00:04:15,401 --> 00:04:17,403
Temps like you
leech onto a president,

126
00:04:17,444 --> 00:04:19,530
then poof, who gives a shit.

127
00:04:19,572 --> 00:04:20,907
That's why we put go hard

128
00:04:20,908 --> 00:04:22,824
for the nonpartisan side
of government,

129
00:04:22,825 --> 00:04:26,037
and let the manchilds
rise and fall like the McRib.

130
00:04:26,078 --> 00:04:28,748
This is my
eighteenth Camp David.

131
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,374
Thirteenth.
Twenty-second.

132
00:04:30,416 --> 00:04:32,418
Oh, you know me,
I don't Camp and tell.

133
00:04:32,419 --> 00:04:34,419
Hey Cher, just signed us up
for axe throwing.

134
00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:35,755
Let's go, pussies.

135
00:04:35,756 --> 00:04:37,255
Matteo: Whoo-hoo.
Michael: Oh, yeah.

136
00:04:37,256 --> 00:04:38,548
Enjoy it while you can,
Temp.

137
00:04:38,549 --> 00:04:39,758
In your job,
there's a good chance

138
00:04:39,759 --> 00:04:41,385
this is your last Camp David.

139
00:04:41,427 --> 00:04:42,845
[ Laughs ]

140
00:04:42,887 --> 00:04:44,222
Did I just get bullied?

141
00:04:44,263 --> 00:04:45,932
And did I like it?

142
00:04:46,432 --> 00:04:48,684
[ Animals chattering,
Curtis whistling ]

143
00:04:49,352 --> 00:04:50,895
[ Swamp bubbling ]

144
00:04:50,937 --> 00:04:52,103
Oh, boy.

145
00:04:52,188 --> 00:04:53,981
Let the games begin.

146
00:04:55,399 --> 00:04:58,236
You've come
to challenge me again?

147
00:04:58,277 --> 00:05:01,280
Well, I think
you'll like my new form.

148
00:05:01,364 --> 00:05:03,449
Curtis: Whoa...Oh...

149
00:05:03,533 --> 00:05:05,076
Oh, god. O-Okay.

150
00:05:05,077 --> 00:05:07,536
Did you skim an image
of a naked woman from my mind

151
00:05:07,537 --> 00:05:09,746
and think, "This, but
water balloon carnival game"?

152
00:05:09,747 --> 00:05:11,373
I mean you fully
skipped the nipples.

153
00:05:11,374 --> 00:05:14,710
Are you ready to surrender
your kingdom to me, Andre?

154
00:05:14,752 --> 00:05:17,672
Quit now, and release me
from this pact.

155
00:05:17,673 --> 00:05:19,506
Eh, I think I'll just
let you talk shit

156
00:05:19,507 --> 00:05:20,675
and make it to sunrise.

157
00:05:20,758 --> 00:05:22,138
Then you stay trapped here,

158
00:05:22,139 --> 00:05:24,010
and I'll go eat
an omelet or something.

159
00:05:24,011 --> 00:05:27,807
Ugh, I know you're just gonna
do the jump scare thing.

160
00:05:28,307 --> 00:05:31,227
Are you sure you
don't want to kiss me?

161
00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:32,895
Surrender to it.

162
00:05:32,896 --> 00:05:34,771
You're mist.
You can't even touch me.

163
00:05:34,772 --> 00:05:38,484
The more you believe,
the more tangible I become.

164
00:05:38,568 --> 00:05:41,028
Come on, I got all these boobs.

165
00:05:41,112 --> 00:05:44,240
[ Laughs ] I'm sorry but,
you just look ridiculous.

166
00:05:44,323 --> 00:05:46,951
As you wish.

167
00:05:46,952 --> 00:05:49,077
Curtis: Ah, here we go,
twenty bucks says

168
00:05:49,078 --> 00:05:50,828
you're gonna be
someone from my family.

169
00:05:50,829 --> 00:05:51,998
Andre?

170
00:05:52,039 --> 00:05:54,333
Oh, my god,
you went straight for my mom??

171
00:05:54,375 --> 00:05:56,460
Son, I -
I never got to tell you

172
00:05:56,502 --> 00:05:57,920
before I died that you were

173
00:05:57,921 --> 00:05:59,880
[demonic voice]
a huge disappointment.

174
00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:02,675
[ Laughs ] My real mom
was scarier than that.

175
00:06:02,758 --> 00:06:05,228
Keep talking, you're making
me all sentimental.

176
00:06:07,471 --> 00:06:09,181
I worry about him out there.

177
00:06:09,223 --> 00:06:10,683
All alone in those woods.

178
00:06:10,684 --> 00:06:12,517
[ Scoffs ] If you're worried,
go check on him.

179
00:06:12,518 --> 00:06:13,727
You think I don't want to?

180
00:06:13,728 --> 00:06:15,145
I'm rowing a canoe
in a full suit

181
00:06:15,146 --> 00:06:16,479
just in case Curtis needs me.

182
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,274
I'm chaffing.
I dunno.

183
00:06:18,275 --> 00:06:19,691
I was talking with the Lifers,

184
00:06:19,692 --> 00:06:20,984
and what they said
kinda made sense.

185
00:06:20,985 --> 00:06:22,277
Like, are we putting
too much faith

186
00:06:22,278 --> 00:06:23,362
in this one guy?

187
00:06:23,446 --> 00:06:24,906
Are you fuckin' nuts?
What?

188
00:06:24,907 --> 00:06:26,740
I told you,
the Lifers wouldn't care

189
00:06:26,741 --> 00:06:28,533
if Curtis ate glass
through his dick.

190
00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:29,952
Dicks don't have mouths.

191
00:06:30,036 --> 00:06:31,329
Then how do we pee?

192
00:06:31,370 --> 00:06:33,039
Who we serve matters, Banks.

193
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,081
You think I'm gonna take
a bullet for the next guy?

194
00:06:35,082 --> 00:06:37,250
Maybe the next guy
would actually tell us shit.

195
00:06:37,251 --> 00:06:38,377
Oh, my god.

196
00:06:38,378 --> 00:06:39,711
Why don't you
just admit that

197
00:06:39,712 --> 00:06:41,212
this isn't about
The Lifers at all,

198
00:06:41,213 --> 00:06:42,590
it's about Trent McGaffin.

199
00:06:42,673 --> 00:06:44,550
What? Who's Trent McGaffin?

200
00:06:44,592 --> 00:06:46,552
So you've never seen
the other hot guy

201
00:06:46,553 --> 00:06:48,762
who isn't me strutting
around the office?

202
00:06:48,763 --> 00:06:51,349
[ Scoffs ] Yeah, right.
Unbelievable.

203
00:06:52,016 --> 00:06:54,143
Okay, so he's on
a whole different story.

204
00:06:54,226 --> 00:06:56,062
[ Lifers laughing ]

205
00:06:56,063 --> 00:06:57,187
Matteo: Whoo.

206
00:06:57,188 --> 00:06:58,481
[ Grunts ] Mark it.

207
00:06:58,564 --> 00:06:59,764
Two points for the cheek.

208
00:06:59,815 --> 00:07:01,625
Whattup Lifers.
You throwing axes?

209
00:07:01,692 --> 00:07:03,486
Uh, hit the bricks, Temp.

210
00:07:03,569 --> 00:07:04,737
We reserved this spot.

211
00:07:04,738 --> 00:07:06,446
Yeah, well,
I was thinking about

212
00:07:06,447 --> 00:07:07,615
what you said and...

213
00:07:07,698 --> 00:07:09,533
Wait, is that a Xerox'd ass?

214
00:07:09,575 --> 00:07:10,826
Janice: Kennedy's.

215
00:07:10,827 --> 00:07:12,369
He used to write letters
on the back.

216
00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:14,162
The cheeks were
basically his wax seal.

217
00:07:14,163 --> 00:07:16,207
Let me guess,
you see a President's ass

218
00:07:16,248 --> 00:07:17,375
and you want to kiss it.

219
00:07:17,416 --> 00:07:18,668
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

220
00:07:18,751 --> 00:07:20,503
"Oh, Mr. Kennedy."

221
00:07:20,586 --> 00:07:21,754
Mwah.
Uh-huh. [ Grunts ]

222
00:07:21,837 --> 00:07:23,089
[ Excited chattering ]

223
00:07:23,090 --> 00:07:24,714
Wow, that's humbling.
[ Grunts ]

224
00:07:24,715 --> 00:07:26,257
Whoa.
Michael: That's ten points.

225
00:07:26,258 --> 00:07:28,093
Right in the crack.
That's an ass cheek turkey.

226
00:07:28,094 --> 00:07:30,096
Put me down for thirty.
Damn.

227
00:07:30,097 --> 00:07:32,847
You really aren't like the other
Chiefs of Staff, are you?

228
00:07:32,848 --> 00:07:35,601
Jan Jan, exactly how many
did Curtis have before her?

229
00:07:35,643 --> 00:07:38,228
Richardson, TaunTaun,
Booger, Steve, Steve Jr.,

230
00:07:38,270 --> 00:07:41,440
Steve Senior, Rollerwheels,
Pigpen, Zahara, Maddox,

231
00:07:41,482 --> 00:07:43,776
Lady Cornpop, Gimble,
Barkman, Barkwoman...

232
00:07:43,818 --> 00:07:46,112
[inhales] Petey Ears,
Candice, GrassBear,

233
00:07:46,153 --> 00:07:48,531
Michael, Backpack Kid,
Jerry, Capricorn,

234
00:07:48,614 --> 00:07:50,783
Steve Senior's Force Ghost,
and Carl.

235
00:07:50,866 --> 00:07:53,744
He fired GrassBear
after thirty minutes. Jesus.

236
00:07:53,745 --> 00:07:55,537
Wait, was he the one
with the laser eyes?

237
00:07:55,538 --> 00:07:56,956
No that was Zahara.

238
00:07:56,957 --> 00:07:59,040
Grassbear was the bear
who could turn into grass.

239
00:07:59,041 --> 00:08:00,709
Well I guess his name
wasn't CreativeBear.

240
00:08:00,710 --> 00:08:02,003
[ Laughter ]

241
00:08:02,004 --> 00:08:03,336
Hey, I'm pulling
a one-eighty on her.

242
00:08:03,337 --> 00:08:04,547
Huge fan.

243
00:08:04,548 --> 00:08:05,839
Hey, should we
get the journal?

244
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,215
What?
Matteo, you're drunk.

245
00:08:07,216 --> 00:08:09,969
And high.
And overdosing aspartame.

246
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:11,061
What's your point?

247
00:08:11,062 --> 00:08:12,846
She's still drinking
the Curtis kool-aid.

248
00:08:12,847 --> 00:08:14,974
If piggy reads it,
she'll squeal.

249
00:08:15,057 --> 00:08:17,101
Guys, I'm not gonna
tell Curtis shit.

250
00:08:17,143 --> 00:08:19,311
It's not like
he talks to me anyway.

251
00:08:19,353 --> 00:08:20,478
Get it.

252
00:08:20,521 --> 00:08:22,148
"Commander in Brief"?

253
00:08:22,189 --> 00:08:24,233
When you work at 1600
as long as we do,

254
00:08:24,316 --> 00:08:26,546
you see all the fleeting
Presidential dirt.

255
00:08:26,569 --> 00:08:29,780
"Reagan keeps a troll in his
closet to practice kissing on."

256
00:08:29,822 --> 00:08:30,872
Is that true?
Yeah.

257
00:08:30,948 --> 00:08:32,532
That's how AIDS got started.

258
00:08:33,117 --> 00:08:36,036
Wow, you guys kinda buried
the lead on that one.

259
00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:38,496
"Eisenhower's freeway system
was a coke idea."

260
00:08:38,497 --> 00:08:40,708
Oh yeah,
he was a total snow bunny.

261
00:08:40,791 --> 00:08:42,793
Damn. No wonder
you guys are so detached.

262
00:08:42,834 --> 00:08:45,296
Keep reading.
One of them was a time traveler.

263
00:08:45,337 --> 00:08:46,922
I'm not gonna tell you who.

264
00:08:46,923 --> 00:08:48,048
Or when.

265
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:49,679
We need a plan
to oust him, Susan.

266
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:50,925
Curtis won't just step down.

267
00:08:50,926 --> 00:08:52,678
He barely got the popular vote.

268
00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:54,763
By election time,
people will be burned out

269
00:08:54,764 --> 00:08:57,641
on his Batman shtick
and craving someone stable.

270
00:08:57,642 --> 00:08:59,309
We could always
tap Dwayne the VP.

271
00:08:59,310 --> 00:09:01,269
He's white, that's an automatic
ten percent of the vote.

272
00:09:01,270 --> 00:09:02,854
Oh, don't stop talking
on my account.

273
00:09:02,855 --> 00:09:04,355
[ Party leaders gasp ]
Andre?.

274
00:09:04,356 --> 00:09:05,566
Have you lost your mind?

275
00:09:05,649 --> 00:09:07,068
Yeah, Susan, I think I have,

276
00:09:07,151 --> 00:09:09,487
especially since
I'm still naked in a swamp.

277
00:09:09,528 --> 00:09:11,697
[ Laughs ]
Hit me, David.

278
00:09:11,698 --> 00:09:13,698
I got at least three more
whizzes in the tank.

279
00:09:13,699 --> 00:09:14,699
D-Dad?

280
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:16,035
I ain't your daddy, kid.

281
00:09:16,036 --> 00:09:17,869
And don't try any
of that Billy Jean shit,

282
00:09:17,870 --> 00:09:19,622
I keep it wrapped and strapped.

283
00:09:19,663 --> 00:09:22,913
I-I'm the kid you dreamed about
having with Beverly, remember?

284
00:09:22,914 --> 00:09:25,543
I don't exist because deep down
you know that parenting

285
00:09:25,544 --> 00:09:27,379
is another job
you would fuck up.

286
00:09:27,463 --> 00:09:28,714
Language.
Shut up.

287
00:09:28,715 --> 00:09:30,256
You're not my real dad.
[ Grunts ]

288
00:09:30,257 --> 00:09:32,217
Man, that shin kick
would've hurt more

289
00:09:32,218 --> 00:09:33,594
if you could touch me.

290
00:09:33,677 --> 00:09:34,845
Peace out, ghost baby.

291
00:09:34,887 --> 00:09:36,597
I know you, Curtis.

292
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:39,558
Behind all that
arrogance is fear.

293
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,185
Yield to me.

294
00:09:41,186 --> 00:09:43,435
David, we don't have to do
this whole song and dance.

295
00:09:43,436 --> 00:09:44,605
You can quit too,

296
00:09:44,606 --> 00:09:46,106
and we can just call
it a night.

297
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:47,650
Oh, Jesus.

298
00:09:47,733 --> 00:09:49,068
Shit, shit, shit.

299
00:09:49,151 --> 00:09:51,028
This is bad.
This is really bad...

300
00:09:51,029 --> 00:09:53,113
...is what I'd be saying
if I wasn't destroying you

301
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,030
like a bitch!

302
00:09:54,031 --> 00:09:55,533
[ Poofs ]
[ Laughs ]

303
00:09:55,574 --> 00:09:56,909
Man, I've got all

304
00:09:56,910 --> 00:09:58,576
the UNO Reverse Cards
in this game.

305
00:09:58,577 --> 00:09:59,662
Keep it coming, David.

306
00:09:59,745 --> 00:10:01,330
I got all night.

307
00:10:01,413 --> 00:10:02,998
[ David cries out ]

308
00:10:02,999 --> 00:10:05,416
Banks: "Curtis cries while
watching RoboCop every morning."

309
00:10:05,417 --> 00:10:07,628
Mm-hmm.
"He pees sitting down"?

310
00:10:07,629 --> 00:10:09,129
This is what you got
on Curtis?

311
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:10,797
Guess it's hard
to find burns for a guy

312
00:10:10,798 --> 00:10:12,590
who's basically
a man-shaped explosion.

313
00:10:12,591 --> 00:10:13,843
[ Laughter ]

314
00:10:13,844 --> 00:10:15,426
I mean, his own Party
doesn't want him

315
00:10:15,427 --> 00:10:17,011
for a second term
and he basically told them

316
00:10:17,012 --> 00:10:18,806
to fuck off
and came here instead.

317
00:10:18,807 --> 00:10:21,599
[ Laughter ]
"Told them to fuck off and came here instead".

318
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,977
Oh, also put in the
"man-shaped explosion" thing.

319
00:10:23,978 --> 00:10:25,728
I was riffing
but it was a crowd pleaser.

320
00:10:25,729 --> 00:10:27,064
[ Laughter ]
Marking it.

321
00:10:27,106 --> 00:10:29,275
Temp Banks,
you finally see the light.

322
00:10:29,276 --> 00:10:30,859
I think you're ready
for the shirt.

323
00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:33,988
Lifers: Ooh.
Rit-u-al. Rit-u-al.

324
00:10:34,071 --> 00:10:36,031
Consider this
an open invitation.

325
00:10:36,032 --> 00:10:37,907
You don't need to quit
or do anything

326
00:10:37,908 --> 00:10:39,451
narratively unbelievable,

327
00:10:39,452 --> 00:10:41,411
but when Curtis does
eventually fire your ass...

328
00:10:41,412 --> 00:10:43,455
...we'll be there
with the Lifer raft.

329
00:10:43,539 --> 00:10:44,707
Aww, you guys.

330
00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:47,459
You just gotta do
one thing first.

331
00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:49,711
[ Exclaims excitedly ]
Cherri: Wahoo.

332
00:10:49,712 --> 00:10:51,254
Michael: Yes.
[ Cherri laughs ]

333
00:10:51,255 --> 00:10:52,964
[ Lifers cheering ]
Hoist. Hoist. Hoist. Hoist.

334
00:10:52,965 --> 00:10:54,132
[ Laughter ]
Banks: Woo-hoo.

335
00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:55,300
Janice:
Let's go, pussies.

336
00:10:55,301 --> 00:10:56,594
Oh, my god, this is crazy.

337
00:10:56,635 --> 00:10:58,512
My first undie flagpole hoist.

338
00:10:58,596 --> 00:10:59,889
Cathartic, right?

339
00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:01,472
There's something
about doing tropes

340
00:11:01,473 --> 00:11:03,309
that just...hits different.

341
00:11:03,392 --> 00:11:04,768
[ Lifers cheering ]

342
00:11:04,810 --> 00:11:07,146
Temp Lifer Banks,
welcome to the fam.

343
00:11:07,147 --> 00:11:08,688
[ Lifers laughing ]
O'Doyle: Banks.

344
00:11:08,689 --> 00:11:09,815
Are you crazy?

345
00:11:09,899 --> 00:11:11,817
His Batman underwear?

346
00:11:11,818 --> 00:11:13,693
How could you
betray him like that?

347
00:11:13,694 --> 00:11:16,487
You know he likes to wear those
when he's watching cartoons.

348
00:11:16,488 --> 00:11:18,406
[ Lifers laughing ]
We gotta add that to the journal.

349
00:11:18,407 --> 00:11:20,075
Stop laughing
as a united team.

350
00:11:20,117 --> 00:11:23,162
You plan the Easter Egg hunt
for a living.

351
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,456
[ Men shouting,
gunfire ]

352
00:11:26,498 --> 00:11:27,958
[ Helicopter whirs ]

353
00:11:27,959 --> 00:11:30,793
[ Explosion ]
Soldier: You were wrong, Sergeant.

354
00:11:30,794 --> 00:11:33,464
You gave the wrong orders!
[ Groans ]

355
00:11:33,505 --> 00:11:34,798
Not gonna roll him over,

356
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,675
I know it's just
gonna be my own face.

357
00:11:36,717 --> 00:11:38,844
[ Smoke whooshes ]

358
00:11:39,303 --> 00:11:40,471
[ Grunts ]

359
00:11:40,798 --> 00:11:42,847
[ Grunts ]

360
00:11:42,848 --> 00:11:43,848
What the hell?

361
00:11:43,849 --> 00:11:44,899
Burritorama?

362
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,226
You went from Afghanistan

363
00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:47,977
to when I worked
at the burrito shop?

364
00:11:47,978 --> 00:11:50,063
How are there still beans
on the plate, Curtis?

365
00:11:50,064 --> 00:11:51,190
No way.

366
00:11:51,191 --> 00:11:53,024
Chet Simmons?
[ Chuckles ] My old manager?

367
00:11:53,025 --> 00:11:55,068
See, this is what happens
when you blow your wad

368
00:11:55,069 --> 00:11:56,278
and use my mother first.

369
00:11:56,362 --> 00:11:57,488
Answer the question.

370
00:11:57,529 --> 00:11:59,865
How can you fail
at washing a dish?

371
00:11:59,907 --> 00:12:01,492
Because your sponges suck ass.

372
00:12:01,493 --> 00:12:04,118
It's not the sponges.
Marco's dishes come out great.

373
00:12:04,119 --> 00:12:05,870
I'm fucking thrilled
when he clocks in.

374
00:12:05,871 --> 00:12:07,539
When he clocks in at the swamp?

375
00:12:08,582 --> 00:12:10,876
And for the record,
I wasn't a bad dishwasher.

376
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,294
Marco was 48 years old,

377
00:12:12,295 --> 00:12:14,462
buying beer for
underage kids after work.

378
00:12:14,463 --> 00:12:15,881
He had his own problems.

379
00:12:15,882 --> 00:12:17,590
The fact that he was
a better dishwasher than me

380
00:12:17,591 --> 00:12:19,885
is an admission of his own
weakness, not mine.

381
00:12:19,969 --> 00:12:22,263
Jesus Christ, if only
you could do your job

382
00:12:22,264 --> 00:12:24,180
as well as you ran
your fucking mouth!

383
00:12:24,181 --> 00:12:25,098
My job?

384
00:12:25,099 --> 00:12:26,432
You're using that college degree

385
00:12:26,433 --> 00:12:28,059
to micromanage my ass
in a strip mall.

386
00:12:28,060 --> 00:12:29,727
I could have run
your whole kitchen better.

387
00:12:29,728 --> 00:12:30,728
You could have run my...

388
00:12:30,729 --> 00:12:32,147
You're a fraud, Curtis!

389
00:12:32,231 --> 00:12:34,316
A guy who tries
and fails at everything.

390
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:37,403
Now wash the goddamn dish
before I fire your ass!

391
00:12:37,444 --> 00:12:39,614
[ Simmons grunts ]
In your dreams, Simmons.

392
00:12:39,615 --> 00:12:41,114
You don't get
to fire me this time

393
00:12:41,115 --> 00:12:42,574
because I fucking quit.

394
00:12:42,658 --> 00:12:44,948
You can shove that dish
up your worthless ass.

395
00:12:44,952 --> 00:12:46,120
[ Ghostly breath ]

396
00:12:46,203 --> 00:12:48,247
Wait, wait, wait, S-Simmons?

397
00:12:48,248 --> 00:12:49,247
Oh, no no no.

398
00:12:49,248 --> 00:12:50,916
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

399
00:12:50,958 --> 00:12:53,460
David: Curtissss...
[ Hand thuds ]

400
00:12:53,544 --> 00:12:54,878
Oh god, David?

401
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,338
You quit, Curtis.

402
00:12:56,422 --> 00:12:57,506
You surrendered.

403
00:12:57,589 --> 00:13:00,175
Finally, my chains
have been lifted!

404
00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:02,678
[ Laughs ]
I'm free!

405
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:06,432
Free to finally eat something
other than fucking swamp water.

406
00:13:06,433 --> 00:13:07,515
[ Laughs ]
No!

407
00:13:07,516 --> 00:13:08,766
I wasn't actually quitting!

408
00:13:08,767 --> 00:13:10,936
Let's go back to my tiny balls!

409
00:13:11,393 --> 00:13:14,480
[ Kyle moaning ]
[ Giggles ] Kyle.

410
00:13:14,481 --> 00:13:16,108
We're supposed to be...
[moans]

411
00:13:16,109 --> 00:13:17,650
...watching the gates
to make sure no one goes in.

412
00:13:17,651 --> 00:13:19,152
[ Water trickling ]
Mm, forget the gates, Lisa.

413
00:13:19,153 --> 00:13:20,611
I'd rather watch you -
[ Grunts ]

414
00:13:20,612 --> 00:13:23,115
[ Choking ]
[ Moans ] Oh, my god, stop it.

415
00:13:23,157 --> 00:13:25,534
You know I can only kiss
with my eyes closed.

416
00:13:25,617 --> 00:13:27,077
Babe?
[ Screams ]

417
00:13:27,119 --> 00:13:28,287
[ Snaps ]
No!

418
00:13:28,288 --> 00:13:29,287
Not Kyle and Lisa!

419
00:13:29,288 --> 00:13:30,747
They were just getting serious.

420
00:13:30,748 --> 00:13:31,898
[ Squelches ]
Ah! Ugh!

421
00:13:31,957 --> 00:13:33,542
[ Grunting ]

422
00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:35,294
No!
Ah!

423
00:13:35,753 --> 00:13:36,963
[ Squelches ]
[ Groans ]

424
00:13:37,254 --> 00:13:39,131
[ Body clatters ]
[ Curtis sighs ]

425
00:13:39,631 --> 00:13:41,508
You should've stayed boobs.

426
00:13:42,092 --> 00:13:43,927
Cherri: Back off, O'Dong.

427
00:13:43,969 --> 00:13:45,512
The chonies stay on the pole.

428
00:13:45,596 --> 00:13:47,973
Let me guess,
Trent just batted his eyes

429
00:13:48,015 --> 00:13:49,155
and you did his bidding.

430
00:13:49,156 --> 00:13:50,433
I still don't know
who that is.

431
00:13:50,434 --> 00:13:51,976
It's just underwear,
who cares?

432
00:13:51,977 --> 00:13:53,354
You should.

433
00:13:53,355 --> 00:13:54,771
You're supposed to be
on Curtis' team.

434
00:13:54,772 --> 00:13:56,273
Well, tell that to Curtis.

435
00:13:56,315 --> 00:13:58,150
Guys!
Wow, perfect timing.

436
00:13:58,192 --> 00:13:59,985
Oh, thank god,
you're all alive.

437
00:14:00,069 --> 00:14:01,320
Sir, are you alright?

438
00:14:01,321 --> 00:14:03,112
It's David,
she used her mist powers

439
00:14:03,113 --> 00:14:04,323
to mess with my mind

440
00:14:04,324 --> 00:14:05,907
and trick me
into quitting my job.

441
00:14:05,908 --> 00:14:07,201
She got Kyle and Lisa.

442
00:14:07,202 --> 00:14:08,785
Aw, they were
just getting serious.

443
00:14:08,786 --> 00:14:10,621
Goddammit.
Wait, mist powers?

444
00:14:10,662 --> 00:14:12,956
You didn't tell me
the witch had mist powers.

445
00:14:12,957 --> 00:14:14,290
Bro, she's dead.
Doesn't matter.

446
00:14:14,291 --> 00:14:15,751
[ Underwear flapping ]
Wait.

447
00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:16,914
Is that my underwear?

448
00:14:16,919 --> 00:14:18,837
How embarrassing.

449
00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:20,547
Skidmarks, too.

450
00:14:20,631 --> 00:14:21,882
David?
But I killed you.

451
00:14:21,883 --> 00:14:23,758
Goddammit, sir,
she's a water witch.

452
00:14:23,759 --> 00:14:25,010
She can regenerate!

453
00:14:25,052 --> 00:14:26,470
Ahhh!
She's not real.

454
00:14:26,512 --> 00:14:28,347
It's just the asparta-
[screams]

455
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:30,349
Matteo, no!
[ Gunshots ]

456
00:14:30,391 --> 00:14:31,517
[ Laughing ]

457
00:14:31,558 --> 00:14:32,851
Your tiny projectiles

458
00:14:32,893 --> 00:14:34,686
pass through me like water,

459
00:14:34,728 --> 00:14:36,271
which is kinda my whole thing!

460
00:14:36,355 --> 00:14:38,065
Ugh!
You should have told me, sir.

461
00:14:38,066 --> 00:14:39,690
I brought hemlock bullets,
mirrored bullets,

462
00:14:39,691 --> 00:14:42,026
nightshade bullets.
I brought all the wrong things.

463
00:14:42,027 --> 00:14:43,695
Ah!
[ Gunshots ]

464
00:14:43,779 --> 00:14:44,863
[ Shouts ]

465
00:14:44,947 --> 00:14:46,365
Ah!
[ Grunts ]

466
00:14:46,448 --> 00:14:47,533
[ Hisses ]

467
00:14:47,616 --> 00:14:50,202
Been a long time
since I've eaten a king.

468
00:14:50,244 --> 00:14:51,995
[ Axe shings ]
Ah!

469
00:14:52,037 --> 00:14:54,331
You want him,
you gotta go through Janice.

470
00:14:54,373 --> 00:14:56,125
[ Shrieks ]
And Cherri.

471
00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:58,001
And Michael
in accounting!

472
00:14:58,043 --> 00:15:00,379
Wow, you guys
are fighting a monster

473
00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:02,214
instead of letting
your boss die.

474
00:15:02,297 --> 00:15:04,299
How profound.
[ Axe thuds ]

475
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:05,800
Pictured her face
as an ass crack.

476
00:15:05,801 --> 00:15:07,361
The student becomes the master.

477
00:15:07,386 --> 00:15:08,887
Curtis: Get to the cabin!

478
00:15:08,929 --> 00:15:10,639
Come on.
Move, move, move.

479
00:15:10,722 --> 00:15:12,266
Oh, hey! It's everyone.

480
00:15:12,267 --> 00:15:13,641
Hey, should I go get my guitar?

481
00:15:13,642 --> 00:15:14,810
All: No!
Read the room.

482
00:15:14,811 --> 00:15:16,227
Barricade the doors
and windows.

483
00:15:16,228 --> 00:15:17,646
Use whatever you can find.

484
00:15:18,564 --> 00:15:19,614
Here, use this.

485
00:15:19,615 --> 00:15:21,149
What's a loose drawer
gonna do?

486
00:15:21,150 --> 00:15:23,026
Oh, so now we're
barricade shaming?

487
00:15:23,068 --> 00:15:24,778
[ Door creaks, body thuds ]

488
00:15:24,862 --> 00:15:27,614
[ Gasps ]
Oh, my god, no no no!

489
00:15:27,698 --> 00:15:29,032
[ Gasps ] Who is that?

490
00:15:29,074 --> 00:15:30,993
"Who is that?"
It's Trent!

491
00:15:30,994 --> 00:15:32,743
All: It's Trent!
Cherri: You dipshit.

492
00:15:32,744 --> 00:15:34,163
Curtis: Obviously Trent.

493
00:15:34,164 --> 00:15:36,164
So this is the other
hottest guy in the office?

494
00:15:36,165 --> 00:15:37,999
Stop treating him
like a piece of meat!

495
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,376
Sorry. Sorry.
[ Sighs ]

496
00:15:39,418 --> 00:15:40,586
Is it, uh...

497
00:15:40,587 --> 00:15:42,587
is it wrong to steal
a dead man's underwear?

498
00:15:42,588 --> 00:15:44,398
I've been naked
for a very long time.

499
00:15:44,399 --> 00:15:46,257
Trent would want you
to have them, sir.

500
00:15:46,258 --> 00:15:49,595
Plus, he famously has those
incredible tearaway pants.

501
00:15:49,636 --> 00:15:51,096
[ Sighs ]

502
00:15:51,513 --> 00:15:52,681
[ Pants snap ]

503
00:15:52,739 --> 00:15:55,600
Perfect fit.
[ Underwear snap ]

504
00:15:55,601 --> 00:15:56,651
Bless you, Trent.

505
00:15:56,685 --> 00:15:57,936
Okay, how do we chain her

506
00:15:57,937 --> 00:15:59,437
murdering ass
back to that swamp?

507
00:15:59,438 --> 00:16:00,898
Fuck that.
The van is out back.

508
00:16:00,939 --> 00:16:02,107
Let's bail, pussies.

509
00:16:02,191 --> 00:16:03,484
That's what she wants.

510
00:16:03,485 --> 00:16:05,067
Water Witches feed
on fear and shame.

511
00:16:05,068 --> 00:16:06,445
To trap her,

512
00:16:06,446 --> 00:16:07,862
we'll need a massive
amount of vulnerability.

513
00:16:07,863 --> 00:16:09,072
And copper.

514
00:16:09,073 --> 00:16:10,114
Everyone,
grab what you can find.

515
00:16:10,115 --> 00:16:11,282
Ooh, it's a copper caper.

516
00:16:11,283 --> 00:16:12,451
Oh, this again?

517
00:16:12,534 --> 00:16:13,744
Ay, ya ya ya...

518
00:16:13,745 --> 00:16:15,620
Here, this should help
with the vulnerability.

519
00:16:15,621 --> 00:16:18,499
Oh, is this like a burn book?
Doubt it will do much.

520
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:20,958
"Curtis cries while watching
RoboCop every morning",

521
00:16:20,959 --> 00:16:22,085
no shame there.

522
00:16:22,086 --> 00:16:23,419
"He pisses sitting down",

523
00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:25,046
everyone should,
no splashback.

524
00:16:25,047 --> 00:16:26,881
"He calls spaghetti,
'pasghetti'",

525
00:16:26,882 --> 00:16:28,467
obviously, it's cuter.

526
00:16:28,468 --> 00:16:30,384
"His own Party doesn't want
him for a second term -"

527
00:16:30,385 --> 00:16:31,845
Banks! What the hell?

528
00:16:31,846 --> 00:16:33,304
That happened this morning.

529
00:16:33,305 --> 00:16:34,973
Wait, my underwear?

530
00:16:35,057 --> 00:16:37,309
Yes, sir.
Jesus Christ, do you hate me?

531
00:16:37,351 --> 00:16:39,144
No, I don't hate you.
The opposite.

532
00:16:39,145 --> 00:16:40,478
I thought you
were gonna fire me

533
00:16:40,479 --> 00:16:42,230
because you don't
tell me anything.

534
00:16:42,231 --> 00:16:44,232
[ Sighs ] That call with
the Party shook me, okay?

535
00:16:44,233 --> 00:16:45,650
I'm terrified of losing my job

536
00:16:45,651 --> 00:16:47,235
and I thought if
I told you I'm scared,

537
00:16:47,236 --> 00:16:48,654
you'd lose faith in me.

538
00:16:48,655 --> 00:16:50,404
That's great guys,
but let's save the atoning

539
00:16:50,405 --> 00:16:51,657
for trapping the witch.

540
00:16:51,740 --> 00:16:52,950
Sign Cherri the fuck up.

541
00:16:52,951 --> 00:16:54,325
Janice and Michael:
Me too.

542
00:16:54,326 --> 00:16:55,618
Wait, really?
Why are you surprised?

543
00:16:55,619 --> 00:16:57,119
We already threw
the axes at her.

544
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,329
As long as you're in
the White House,

545
00:16:58,330 --> 00:16:59,581
we got your back.

546
00:16:59,582 --> 00:17:01,332
So let's go eat
this bitch for dinner.

547
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:02,584
You guys are crazy!

548
00:17:02,585 --> 00:17:04,085
I'm gonna get in
that car and dri-

549
00:17:04,086 --> 00:17:05,253
[ Glass shatters ]
[ Shouts ]

550
00:17:05,254 --> 00:17:06,672
[ Splatters ]
Sandra!

551
00:17:06,754 --> 00:17:07,839
To the swamp! Now!

552
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,006
Michael:
But it says kitchen.

553
00:17:09,007 --> 00:17:10,327
There's an exit, Michael!

554
00:17:10,341 --> 00:17:13,052
[ David screeching in distance ]

555
00:17:13,136 --> 00:17:15,055
[ Panting ] Ow, shit.

556
00:17:15,138 --> 00:17:17,849
I'll give anyone
$5,000 if they carry me.

557
00:17:18,225 --> 00:17:19,935
[ Stomach rumbles ]

558
00:17:20,018 --> 00:17:21,686
[ Squelching ]

559
00:17:21,687 --> 00:17:23,436
O'Doyle: Here, sir,
this should ground her.

560
00:17:23,437 --> 00:17:25,273
It has swamp-activated
filaments.

561
00:17:25,274 --> 00:17:28,359
Your ab hole never ceases
to amaze me, O'Doyle.

562
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:29,630
Thank you, sir.
Everyone.

563
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,445
No matter what happens,
stay vulnerable.

564
00:17:31,446 --> 00:17:33,406
And remember that Latin
I taught you two seconds ago.

565
00:17:33,407 --> 00:17:34,737
[ Hisses ]
[ Cherri gasps ]

566
00:17:34,783 --> 00:17:36,493
So much weakness.

567
00:17:36,494 --> 00:17:37,535
[ Growls ]

568
00:17:37,536 --> 00:17:38,995
We're not afraid of you, David.

569
00:17:38,996 --> 00:17:40,747
As long as you know I'm here,

570
00:17:40,831 --> 00:17:43,375
you will always fear me!

571
00:17:43,376 --> 00:17:45,668
Wait, is that why you made
a deal with Roosevelt?

572
00:17:45,669 --> 00:17:47,211
Because you're afraid
of being forgotten?

573
00:17:47,212 --> 00:17:49,006
I fear nothing!

574
00:17:49,047 --> 00:17:50,882
[ Grunts, laughs ]

575
00:17:50,924 --> 00:17:52,884
You are no king, Curtis.

576
00:17:52,968 --> 00:17:54,303
You're right about that.

577
00:17:54,386 --> 00:17:55,762
[ Shouts ] Now!

578
00:17:55,846 --> 00:17:57,556
What? No!

579
00:17:57,557 --> 00:17:59,432
[ Lifers chanting ]
Nostra fragilitate, te alligamus.

580
00:17:59,433 --> 00:18:02,227
[ Shouting ]
Nostra fragilitate, te alligamus.

581
00:18:02,269 --> 00:18:04,229
Everyone, be vulnerable.
Now!

582
00:18:04,230 --> 00:18:06,897
I spiral out
because I'm insecure about my self-worth!

583
00:18:06,898 --> 00:18:09,443
[ Shouts ]
I mask my insecurity with arrogance.

584
00:18:09,526 --> 00:18:12,070
Also, Marco was a better
dishwasher than me.

585
00:18:12,154 --> 00:18:14,406
What?
I was jealous of Trent!

586
00:18:14,407 --> 00:18:16,324
I tried to shield you
from The Lifers

587
00:18:16,325 --> 00:18:17,909
to keep our world's apart.

588
00:18:17,993 --> 00:18:19,077
No! Stop!

589
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:20,579
Stop owning your shit.

590
00:18:20,621 --> 00:18:23,957
I leave mean reviews on my
mother-in-law's Etsy shop.

591
00:18:24,041 --> 00:18:26,209
And I use the C word a lot.

592
00:18:26,251 --> 00:18:28,712
I once robbed a bank
in a Nixon mask.

593
00:18:28,754 --> 00:18:31,673
It was Nixon's idea,
but still, not cool.

594
00:18:31,674 --> 00:18:34,133
You didn't include me on
either side of the story.

595
00:18:34,134 --> 00:18:35,469
That hurt my feelings.

596
00:18:35,470 --> 00:18:37,094
When I have to take
really bad shits,

597
00:18:37,095 --> 00:18:39,723
I use the women's bathroom
because it's cleaner!

598
00:18:39,765 --> 00:18:41,433
And I put out
the wet floor sign

599
00:18:41,475 --> 00:18:42,976
so people don't come in!

600
00:18:43,060 --> 00:18:46,021
I abuse the public trust
in janitorial equipment

601
00:18:46,104 --> 00:18:48,440
so I can get out
my bad diarrhea!

602
00:18:48,482 --> 00:18:50,942
Michael, we fired
so many janitors.

603
00:18:51,026 --> 00:18:52,402
I know!

604
00:18:52,444 --> 00:18:54,696
I'm the accountant,
I see all the paperwork.

605
00:18:54,738 --> 00:18:55,906
Aghh!
[ Thuds ]

606
00:18:55,947 --> 00:18:57,449
Ah! Nooo!

607
00:18:57,450 --> 00:18:59,033
Curtis: With the strength
of my administration,

608
00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:01,119
I bind you back to this land.

609
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:02,620
David: [ Straining ]
Th-that's fine.

610
00:19:02,621 --> 00:19:04,456
It's actually
a bad look for you,

611
00:19:04,498 --> 00:19:06,500
putting down a powerful female!

612
00:19:06,583 --> 00:19:08,513
Uh huh,
so now you're davidsplaining

613
00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:10,294
that it's your idea
to get trapped?

614
00:19:10,295 --> 00:19:13,799
You'll be baaaack!

615
00:19:14,841 --> 00:19:16,968
[ Ghostly sigh ]

616
00:19:18,637 --> 00:19:21,890
Michael, we need to talk
about your diarrhea.

617
00:19:23,350 --> 00:19:25,602
Alright,
everyone say "David".

618
00:19:25,644 --> 00:19:26,728
All: David!

619
00:19:26,812 --> 00:19:28,814
Great, got it.
Whose phone is this?

620
00:19:28,855 --> 00:19:30,148
Banks: Hey, Cherri.

621
00:19:30,149 --> 00:19:31,607
Thanks for letting me
spin out with you guys

622
00:19:31,608 --> 00:19:33,609
but, uh, not sure
I should be wearing this.

623
00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:35,821
Oh, keep it. You probably
don't have as much

624
00:19:35,904 --> 00:19:37,406
job security as you think.

625
00:19:37,407 --> 00:19:39,323
Alright, well... see you at
the Happy Hours after work?

626
00:19:39,324 --> 00:19:41,535
Ha, not if I see you first.

627
00:19:42,327 --> 00:19:44,830
Okay, I think I made a friend.

628
00:19:44,871 --> 00:19:46,790
Listen,
cat's out of the bag, Susan.

629
00:19:46,791 --> 00:19:49,166
I know you guys might not
support me for re-election

630
00:19:49,167 --> 00:19:50,502
and I don't care.

631
00:19:50,503 --> 00:19:51,627
Susan:
And how is this different?

632
00:19:51,628 --> 00:19:52,948
Because I did care before,

633
00:19:52,963 --> 00:19:54,163
I was just lying about it.

634
00:19:54,164 --> 00:19:55,381
Look, the people elected

635
00:19:55,382 --> 00:19:56,642
a guy who can't wash a dish

636
00:19:56,643 --> 00:19:58,175
and that's what
they're gonna get.

637
00:19:58,176 --> 00:19:59,678
And until they vote me out,

638
00:19:59,761 --> 00:20:01,012
I have a job to do.

639
00:20:01,054 --> 00:20:03,348
Banks?
Yeah, hi Susan, chief dog here.

640
00:20:03,349 --> 00:20:05,099
We work for the people,
not The Party.

641
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:06,350
So you can expect a lot more

642
00:20:06,351 --> 00:20:08,019
monster fighting
from this end...

643
00:20:08,103 --> 00:20:09,438
Oh. Okay.

644
00:20:09,521 --> 00:20:11,356
So what is this,
we talk to you now?

645
00:20:11,398 --> 00:20:13,316
You talk to both of us.
Right.

646
00:20:13,358 --> 00:20:15,444
Thanks for the update, Andre.

647
00:20:15,527 --> 00:20:16,778
Nice work, Banks.

648
00:20:16,779 --> 00:20:18,237
Did you hear her
shaking in her boots?

649
00:20:18,238 --> 00:20:19,698
"So we talk to you now?

650
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:22,367
I'm a stern old lady
in a dark room." [ Laughs ]

651
00:20:22,451 --> 00:20:23,952
I'm still on the line.

652
00:20:23,953 --> 00:20:25,911
I dropped the phone
while trying to hang up.

653
00:20:25,912 --> 00:20:29,291
I'm guessing this is only gonna
make you guys hate me more?

654
00:20:29,374 --> 00:20:30,424
You guessed right.

655
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:31,835
Makes sense.
Fair is fair.

656
00:20:32,878 --> 00:20:34,880
Are we all just
staying on the line now

657
00:20:34,963 --> 00:20:37,382
to catch if the other person
says something?

658
00:20:37,461 --> 00:20:39,633
Nerdsayswhat.
What?

659
00:20:39,634 --> 00:20:40,844
Oooh!
Ah! Got ya!

660
00:20:40,886 --> 00:20:42,095
Nerd! [ Laughs ]

661
00:20:42,721 --> 00:20:47,976
Curtis: ? Mother nature
acting natural ?

662
00:20:48,059 --> 00:20:50,479
? Then she attacks ?

663
00:20:50,562 --> 00:20:54,733
? Supernatural swampy lady ?

664
00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:59,196
? All up in my deepest fears ?

665
00:20:59,237 --> 00:21:01,364
? But I only ?

666
00:21:01,406 --> 00:21:06,036
? Fear that I'll die aloneee ?

667
00:21:06,578 --> 00:21:08,580
[ Bell tolls,
Organ music plays ]

668
00:21:08,663 --> 00:21:11,374
[ Clears throat ]
Uh... I, um...

669
00:21:11,416 --> 00:21:14,085
I don't know any of you,
but uh...

670
00:21:14,169 --> 00:21:15,420
I worked with your son.

671
00:21:15,504 --> 00:21:17,005
Trent and I...

672
00:21:17,088 --> 00:21:18,840
God, how do you describe us?

673
00:21:18,924 --> 00:21:21,259
Uh, we didn't really
know each other,

674
00:21:21,301 --> 00:21:22,761
but we were obviously

675
00:21:22,762 --> 00:21:24,345
the two hottest guys
in the office.

676
00:21:24,346 --> 00:21:26,306
We were the face alphas.

677
00:21:26,389 --> 00:21:28,600
[ Sighs ] I squandered
my time with him

678
00:21:28,642 --> 00:21:31,561
over a petty competition
that was mostly in my head.

679
00:21:31,603 --> 00:21:33,855
But I came here to heal.

680
00:21:33,939 --> 00:21:37,859
Because Trent showed me
how to be hot inside too.

681
00:21:37,943 --> 00:21:38,993
Thank you.

682
00:21:39,444 --> 00:21:41,196
Thank you for the kind words.

683
00:21:41,279 --> 00:21:44,157
You know, I have no clue
what my son was talking about.

684
00:21:44,241 --> 00:21:47,869
You can't possibly be the most
annoying guy in the office.

685
00:21:47,953 --> 00:21:49,003
That son of a-

686
00:21:49,079 --> 00:21:50,580
Good girl, Boo Boo.

687
00:21:50,622 --> 00:21:51,957
Did you get any of that?

688
00:21:52,007 --> 00:21:56,557
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